"When are YOU going to have children?"
This question was posed to me recently by my Granny after she told me about my cousin knocking up his girlfriend and their impending shotgun wedding. My Granny knows I'm gay and single. She refuses to acknowledge it and routinely tries to set me up with various girls that she finds acceptable. I always deflect the setups and try to convince Granny that, while I do like some kids occasionally, I'm not cut out for having my own.
Her question did get me thinking ( a dangerous pastime, I know).
"Why are we incomplete without children?"
Men and women of a certain age who are childless are often looked at with pity at their offspring "predicament". We are considered immature and irresponsible if we have chosen to not have children. There must be something wrong with us. Who wouldn't want children? Don't we realize that we aren't living up to our full potential by not having kids? Obviously our lives and our households are empty and devoid of life because of our choice. Somehow we have no way of knowing what love really is because we don't have a child telling us at bedtime that they love us. Somehow our lives are unfulfilled if we don't model them after Donna Reed or Leave it to Beaver.
I take umbrage with this perception. It is MY choice not to have kids. As I said before, there are some kids I like. But, as a general rule, I don't like kids. They are a section of the population I wouldn't choose to spend my time with. I've heard all the arguments for having a child. However, they're meaningless to me. I get unconditional love from my dog. Plus, I can leave her at home alone even though she's only three years old.
It annoys me that people believe there is something "wrong" with me because I'm truly happy living a childless life. But I know myself better than anyone else. I know I'm too selfish for a child. In my world, I COME FIRST. I'm simply not a "family" man. Soccer games, elementary school plays, family trips to the zoo, cuddling with kids while watching "The Little Mermaid", all are visions of Hell to me. I like to go out without having to worry about the time because my babysitter and kids have school in the morning. I like knowing that my house won't be a disaster area with toys scattered on the floor to step on. I like being able to take off on a road trip anytime the mood strikes me.
None of these things make me any less than the vast majority of the world population that has chosen that happy family lifestyle. It is simply not for me. I just don't get it when people think it's bad, or sad that I'm single and childless.
